Rev. Ken Sudo (20121030)
As a strong atheist, I was always denying God's existence. Experience with God:<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Now at one point, I contracted kidney inflammation. At the moment of realization of my egoistic attitude and selfishness, I felt nobody loved me. That was because I didn't love anybody. It gradually became clear for me where I would end up if I were to die. Around the same time, I was given the opportunity to read some testimonies in a religious magazine published by a famous and respectable organization. The common phenomena in all the testimonies were that these people experienced miracles only after going through a period of tearful repentance. I felt that there must be something there. So came the moment of mystical experience. I had began to meditate and ask myself existential questions ("Who am I?", etc.). I shed tears of repentance every single night. As I realized the existence of a Supreme Being, I began to pay for the first time in my life. Then, I experienced something like being drenched in a cold waterfall (spiritually). Then, a bright golden light flashed toward me, and a red beam struck me. I didn't know what happened, totally shocked. Then, feeling something on my back, I felt the kidneys on both sides trembling. Next day on the visit to the doctor, I was told that my illness which had lasted for a year and a half was cured. I didn't tell anybody of my experience, not to the doctor, and not to my family, as I knew they wouldn't understand. However, I was very happy inside; "God is alive!" It was confirmed that miracles happen only after the shedding of tears of repentance.
It was now very clear to me that God is alive. I also realized God's patience. I had ridiculed God, but He didn't judge me, and waited for me by letting me go through the indemnity course of one and a half year.I know that many people don't believe in God. But we don't understand God not because He doesn't exist, but because of our impurities. We cannot form common ground with God who is a pure being, because of our own sinfulness. Experience with Jesus: I attended a Baptist Church for a time as I liked the songs they sung. However, as I attended the church, I began to question the contents of the Bible and the pastor's messages (e.g. What is salvation?).
I was then assigned to take care of deaf children. At that time, a lady who was somewhat spiritual told me that I might have an experience of Jesus' voice on the Easter day. It was 195x. On the Easter morning, I woke up in a state between sleep and awareness. Then a voice could be heard, and I realized after a while that it was Jesus. I was amazed and devastated at the same time. I began to communicate with Jesus from that day. There are two central issues he told me about. The first issue was regarding the redemption by the cross. Jesus told me that the crucifixion was, though inevitable, neither Jesus' nor God's will. The second issue Jesus told me about was his identity. He said: "I am not God, but Son of God." The redemption by the cross and misinterpretation of Jesus' identity as God are serious issues of Christianity. Now, when I went back to the church, the pastor was preaching that Jesus came to die and that Jesus is God himself. I did cold shower in a waterfall in order to find the answer to this problem.
Then one day, as I was walking down the Osaka station, a small lady was shouting a message while holding out some flyers. That was Matsumoto-mama. This was how I was introduced to the Unification church, and eventually led to hear a Divine Principle lecture for the first time.